He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
