I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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