I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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