I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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