i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
