forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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