Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
