when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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