I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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