So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
