I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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