Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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