ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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