Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
