I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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