Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
