sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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