I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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