I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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