I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize