haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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