Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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