True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
