the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
