i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
