he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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