Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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