I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
