is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
