been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
