Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
