Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
