she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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