Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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