Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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