Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize