If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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