Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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