just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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