But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
