woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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