When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
