Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
