1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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