come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
