whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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