it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
