just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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