I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
