Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
