I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
where are you?
Hypothermia
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
