Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
