and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
