Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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