Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
