What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
