Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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