I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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