how can u be prego again
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
