Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
