How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
