some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
